A divorce marks the end of a significant chapter of your life. If you are going through the process of divorce, you need to be equipped to handle this journey. A lawyer will provide the much needed  legal know-how during court proceedings. However,  you might need much more than legal advice.  Let’s go over some of the things your lawyer might not touch on.

  1. Get a Therapist
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Divorce can be an emotional roller-coaster. You’d do well to seek the help of a therapist. This is important because your ability to make sound decisions has been compromised. Similarly, your self- esteem and perception could be affected. A therapist will be necessary during this period to ensure that you make decisions devoid of emotional hang-ups.

  1. Put Your Kids First
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There is a line of wisdom that is often ignored when people are stuck in the middle of a divorce – ‘parents are forever.’ The meaning of this is that although spouses have the option of walking in and out of our lives, our children do not enjoy that liberty. Putting your children’s interest first means that you do not pursue actions that end up working against the interest of your children. Such actions include actively fighting against visitation rights or engaging in actions that might negatively affect your children’s perception of your spouse. Avoid talking smack about your spouse in front of the kids.

  1. Divorce Is a Process
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Often, individuals will go into a divorce proceedings expecting the process to be an open and shut case. This frame of mind will set you up for disappointment. Remember that divorce is a process and not an event. This means that you will have to brace yourself for the tons of court appearances and all the ensuing drama in between. Divorce calls for patience and restraint.

  1. You’ll Lose Friends
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It sucks, but it’s true. You will lose some of your friends. They will take sides with your spouse or avoid you all together. It might not be clear from the outset whether they just don’t know what to say or they’re just embarrassed. Whatever the case, be prepared for this eventuality. Looking on the bright side, you will know who your real friends are.

  1. Talk to Your Spouse
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Your lawyer will charge you by the hour. If you can hammer out a deal with your spouse without involving one, the easier and less costly the whole process will be. You can have an out of court settlement as long as you agree on how to split everything. Sometimes it’s easier and less emotionally draining to make concessions and let go of some the things you hold dear. You will be able to start your new life much sooner without all the baggage a court process brings with it.

  1. Choosing a Lawyer
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While you will need a lawyer to wade through the murky waters of divorce, don’t let them pump you full of sunshine. They might promise to deliver heaven and earth and dump you the minute you run out of cash.  Seek free legal divorce advice from a community legal centre in your area before you engage a lawyer.

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